Saturday, June 21, 2014

No arguments

Rob and I have been together for 5 years and 9 months. We were engaged for two and a half years before we tied the knot. We have been married for a month and a half now. 
Both Rob and I started out as two very different people. The more we got to know eachother, the more we realised the differences. He is into video games, which is his way of venting and spending time alone. When we first got together, I found myself angry that he liked video games, simply because I didn't like them. I was (actually still am) into Disney, Cookie Monster, and wombats. I was trying my hardest to be unique and lovable. I was obsessed with boys, and Rob was available to "claim" as mine. I didn't realise until later that for him to be mine, I had to also be his. As the months flew by, I was growing up, and he was relaxing more, and understanding that a 17 year old was entitled to obsess over Cookie Monster. He was more willing to spend time with me, and invest himself in my likes. I eventually took time to invest in his likes. The people we were back then, would be in shock of the people we are now. 
It wasn't just differences in hobbies and obsessions that we had to get used to. Very early into the relationship, I opened up to him. It was almost easy once I got started. Very soon he knew regrets of my past, and problems that had arisen in the present. I loved to tell him things that no one else knew. I loved that we shared secrets. We got quite deep at times, and I can tell you for sure that Rob knows more about me than anyone else (besides God). It naturally took him longer to share, but it didn't bother me too much.
Both of have made mistakes. I admit that I have definately made more mistakes than he has, and I think I will still always feel guilty about my horrible decision making skills (or lack there of). 
Let's just say that we have been through a lot together, and apart, but one thing that has always remained is our ability to forgive eachother, and learn from our mistakes. I give the credit to God for placing us together. Rob and I were meant to be, and everything has been and will continue to be in God's perfect timing. 

So, we are married now, and very happy. We live in the downstairs of my Grandma and Aunty's house. They have been generous in letting us stay here, and it is definately teaching us to be greatfull. We have a bedroom with enough room for a TV. We have a make shift (very small) kitchen, without a sink, which means we have to fill a tub with shower water and do the washing up that way, or we take all of the dishes upstairs to wash up in the proper sink. Both ways require effort, but work. We have a small bathroom with a shower and toilet, but again, we are managing. It is squishy and uncomfortable at times but rob and I are settled. We trust that God will provide Rob with a decent paying job and a larger house to live in, but for now we have been provided with more than enough. 

One thing that has surprised me about being married is our lack of arguing. I have snapped at him a few times, but only when I have been frustrated at something else. I take my frustration out on him occasionally but I quickly say sorry. Rob has rarely needed to say sorry. We don't argue, or let anything become too much. I know very well that there will be larger arguments down the track, but for now, we are very happy, and even when we argue I suspect we will grow stronger and deeper in love. The point is, God has blessed our relationship. I feel so comfortable around Rob, not awkward at all. We laugh with eachother, play, cry and vent with eachother. We share the load. 

To those of you in relationships, I suggest you trust Jesus. Commit your relationships to Him. Let him journey with you. Most of all don't worry. Don't let your expectations run your relationship. Jesus is your cornerstone and solid rock. Expect surprises. 

Xo 


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